Poem #10: Dear C

Dear C:

How naïve we were,
Dumb lambs blinking in the daylight,
Thinking that you,
Were the last.

The best.

The one that would solve our troubles
And make us breathe
Like saints.

C, you were a disaster
Unto yourself.

You made yourself a temple
And then burned it to the ground.
You walked the way that royalty
Looks down on the earth,
And yet you cut
Your soul away
In a breath.

C, you were an idol.
You were the way that we hold
Our breath on elevators,
The way that dead men
Move forever, the way
That I once was,
Never was.

You fooled us all,
Until the end.

Until the bloodred curtain dropped
Revealing you, only you,
Making a tragedy out of sympathy
Or maybe the other way around.

He has not forgiven you,
And I-
Cannot forget.

I wonder, when you did it-
Were you thinking of him,
Sliding through life
Using him as your origin?

C, you make me sick,
Not in the flu, cough, lemon way,
In the way that can’t be undone.

In the way that means
I will forever reach
Away from you, my trees
Will wind apart from yours,
My fences all are built
For you.

C, are you happy?
Now that you’re famous
In infamy, are you finally,
Maybe, finished?

Only time will reveal and today,
It is muted by the fact that
You are never going
To go away.

And by the fact that I,
Who hate what you mean,
Feel sympathy,
For the girl who holds a mirror image
Of the world in her hands.


***
When I wrote this, I was working through some stuff that happened awhile ago, hence all of the vague allusions to people that I have and do know. Note this is incredibly overdramatized.