Poem #30: I Warned You

What have I become?

I’m trying to make the pieces
Fit again, but why, they just
Won’t go together, they’re
Like mismatched signals
And the feedback is making
My stomach burn inside
I just want this over with
So I can sleep again, so that
My dreams are no longer
Filled with the screams,
So that my head is clear
Of the blood, and the pain,
And so that I can go away,
Find a new name, and then
Sin no more. I didn’t want
This. I didn’t dream of this.
I didn’t dream of it when
The daylight penetrated my
Downcast eyelids, or when
The laughter came to me
Through the thin paper wall,
Or even when I saw myself
Just go ahead and lose control.
I did dream at night, but
Really, that doesn’t count.
We were just single filed,
All in one line’d, we were
Slated anyway, or so they
Whispered to me, and made
It hard to breathe. You know
The rest of this story, so
Why are you still here? Why
Don’t you run away, as they
Could not, did not, would not,
And why are you listening
As I bury the bodies, why
Don’t you see yourself among
Them, in my mind? You are.

You will make a beautiful catastrophe,
And I will be the final stroke.


***
I think this needs explanation... this is written from the viewpoint of some creepy mass-murderer type who's staking out his next victim. But he also realizes that what he's doing is wrong, even as he's planning to kill the next victim. This is the last warning that he's giving, because he really doesn't want to kill the person, but knows that he will. I know, it's a lovely, lovely story :)